Plastic Coat Hangers Make Good Whackers

There is nothing quite so satisfying as seeing the look on a liberal’s face when you are at the supermarket with your obstreperous and disobedient two year old and you bring him back into line with a nice sharp whack on the behind.   To see the tone in his holler (the two year old’s, not the liberal’s) immediately change from defiance to capitulation is really quite rewarding.   It is gratifying to know you have taken one incremental step in insuring your kid is not going to become one of those government statistics.   Meanwhile, liberals decry your actions as Satan worship, which is funny, because in any other circumstance Satan worship would be admired; we’ve got to be open-minded you know!

Just recently they have begun making noise in Sacramento about a new law to prohibit and fine anyone found spanking a kid under three.   Our lunatic governor actually said he would take a look at it.  

The liberal arguments against spanking are always ridiculous.   You’re going to hurt them.   Did you ever spank a toddler through his pants, a diaper, and a full load?   There is no pain involved, unless you consider making him put that Snickers bar back on the rack painful.   If the kid is right in the middle of a  full-on meltdown, you’ll be lucky to even get his attention with one or two whacks.  

You’re going to hurt his self-esteem.   Self-esteem is exactly what he has too much of.   I am trying to beat the self-esteem out of him and instill a little humility.   When a kid is telling the parent NO you are beyond words of reason.   This sort of insolence requires immediate action.   Spare the rod   An unruly and out of control kid is likely to become a spoiled self-centered adult, and I am pretty certain we don’t need any more of those.  

Any one of us who has raised kids knows it takes many different techniques to get them to act in the preferred manner.   Techniques that work with some kids don’t work with others.   While spanking might not always be the best method, it is a method which can be helpful.  

I wonder what a law against spanking is  going to accomplish anyway.   The guy who is out there  beating and abusing his kids isn’t going to be stopped by such ridiculous measures.    He knows he’s wrong, his beatings are only doled out in private.   Who’s left?   The frazzled mom juggling a full grocery basket, an obstinate nine year old, a troublesome six year old, and a two year old about to get creamed by a passing car in the market parking lot?   It is just unfathomable that our governor doesn’t think it is totally ridiculous that government might create legislation for such trivial nonsense.   Worse, it is amazing he thinks his authority or government’s authority should be used to manage the family unit.  

The United States has fundamental views which sharply differ from communist nations in regards to children.   In the communist nations, children (and parents for that matter) are considered subjects of the state; state property, if you will.   Parents are nothing more than surrogates charged with the duties of caring for this government property.   In the United States, children are property of their parents and it is the parent’s job and responsibility to see to their well being, not the states.   When Hillary Clinton says, It takes a village , it is communist philosophy she is promoting, not American values.  

This new law is evidently only directed toward children under three, so if you have a disobedient four year old, Arnold has cleared you to whack away.   In that case, I recommend plastic coat hangers.   They work better than your open hand to get the kids attention, there is always one around, and they don’t cost much if you break them.   Also, if social services shows up at your front door and they take them all away after you promise not to whack your kids anymore, you can get a dozen more at Wal-Mart for a buck ninety-nine.  

Copyright 2007 Jim Pontillo